It Comes When It Comes; Not A Minute Early, Not A Minute Late

As humans, it is easy to believe that we care more about someone else than they do about themselves. It is easy to see others’ faults while completely disregarding our own, or pretending we are perfect.

In Cameroon, it is common to hear people say “Me I dey me so eh… I no like so and so,” as though by some miracle we have become the standard for perfection. It is important to remember that the person in any situation definitely has first hand knowledge of what is going on, especially when dealing with single women. It may not look like they have this knowledge because everyone finds coping mechanisms. Besides, it is not always a curse that makes people single, despite what some people may think. Some choose to be this way, others may have lost their loved ones, and still, others may have suffered enough heartbreaks to risk another one. Some just may not care about it, or may just be wondering what they should do. This especially true when it looks like all the decent men are taken, and the remaining ones prefer spending time and money drinking untold amounts of alcohol while discussing football, claiming that being a bachelor is the highest calling for a man.

What should they do? Drag any man they find on the street down the aisle? Strongly suggesting to him to propose to her, or go the American way by getting down on one knee, asking him to marry you? Sticking a ring on his finger while expecting teary eyes and shouts of ‘oh my God’ from him?

It is sweet of men to care and have single ladies’ interests at heart. But, how about helping out by introducing them to suitable partners? Your handsome brother would be nice, or your friend’s son who is decent. How about that young single colleague of yours? Instead of a million “how come” and “what are you waiting for,” help out. Some people sat in their homes and their partners came. Others went out and met them. Others have done both and, still, nothing came out of the effort.The race is not for the swiftest. Like someone said, it is not a price-giving ceremony.

Single lady, no worries. If people say you are late in marriage, tell them that when your time comes, you will be the latest. Marriage, though a good thing, has never and will never solve all of one’s problems. It is a great step to take, just like a baby taking his/her first step. It comes when it comes; not a minute early, not a minute late. Don’t lose your mind because of it. It must surely come, unless of course, you took a vow of celibacy. I sure hope you didn’t 🙂

Meg